I'M PRETTY SURE I'M THE NEW POSTER CHILD

No weight loss for 3 weeks. WTF! It is like someone has slammed the brakes on my weight loss train and my face is smashed against the dashboard. I have been losing the battle against head hunger but it is not crazy cheating so there should be at least an ounce or two. I'm back at the gym so I should be burning some calories there. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but I'm terrified of going back to the doc with 0 weight loss when they expect me to lose 5 pounds a month. I don't want to be the one and only lap band failure. Send Prayers please

THE ELUSIVE SWEET SPOT

Now that I am on solid foods the confusion has set in. What is the sweet spot? How do I find it? Is it next to the fountain of youth or closer to El Dorado? What is it I'm aiming for?

Over the past 2 weeks since I've been on solid foods - the weight loss has dramatically shut down. My band is slightly over half full and I have some restriction but is it enough restriction? My meals are definitely smaller than I used to eat, and my calorie intake is between 900 to 1200/day. I do feel full when I eat with a smaller amount of food but it only seems to last about 2 hours and then I am fighting to wait for the 3 to 4 hours for the next meal. Another huge battle I'm having is head hunger at night. Between 8:30 and 9:00 pm I start to get the snackies and I want something to munch on while I watch t.v. - so I know that is just a personal battle I will have to deal with; but what is my ultimate intake and fullness feeling that means I am at that sweet spot. I'm almost scared to get another fill because I am only 4cc's away from my band being full and then where do I go from there?

So any sage advice on where I should settle in at?

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why did some of my words just not show up in my last blog - There we just gaps. Could you figure out what I was saying? because some of them were key words like heartburn.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

BBQ Cook-off finally over and school starting tomorrow so I should be back on track and keeping up with all my blogger buddies now. Also a great big welcome to my 2 new followers - send me a link to your blogs if you are blogging so I can follow you too.

So on the thirteenth I got another 3 ccs in my 10 cc realize band; which puts me at a little over halfway full. The problem is I felt more restriction when I just had the 3 ccs than I do now. I also finally got to start eating real food and once again I feel hungry like 1 1/2 hours after I eat. I'm not eating for at least 3 hours after I last ate but I feel like I'm starving for that 1 1/2 hours that I'm waiting. I'm trying to work through is it real hunger or head hunger?

Other things I'm working through are since I've started real food I haven't lost any pounds. I keep going back and forth between 189 and 192 - I'd really like to be solidly in the 180s. I'm trying hard to not let the scale depress me too much and just concentrate on working the band and following through with the things that I should be doing - eating slowly, chewing well, drinking plenty of water etc. I logically know that I'll hit little plateaus along the way but it is still a little disheartening.

My biggest issue at this time; and I hope I can get some advice from the experienced bandsters here, is that for the past 2 days I've had a constant burning like heartburn and constant belching. What is going on? Has my band already slipped? AAAGGHHH??? or do I just have a lot of gas? I did have salad the past 3 days-- maybe my body is not used to the roughage. I'm playing with idea of maybe I should go back to full liquids for a few days and see if things straighten out.

Let me just share with you that our BBQ Cook-off went extremely well. We had 110 BBQ teams compete. The judging tent that I co run with my fellow board member Sandra (the best person ever to work with) went extremely smoothly this year. I was so pleased. Don't know the total profit we made yet until all the math is done - probably by Sept. but I do know we made $45,000 on the auction alone and our beer sales were up this year. When our headline band started playing - we were selling 7 cases of beer ever 5 minutes. All in all I think we had a successful event this year (translated: we threw a hell of party). We did have one very disgruntled team this year - but they came in not happy with things (at which time they were offered a full refund of their entry fee if they wished to not participate due to their unhappiness) and we just couldn't seem to please them all weekend. We had 40 other teams on a wait list to participate --- so I don't think we'll be having that team back next year.

Sending much love and good band vibes out to all of you. Kisses

DISAPPEARING ACT

I apologize for my recent disappearance. I promise I have not abandoned you ladies who have become my friends, allies and support system. I have just totally had my hands full working on our annual BBQ Cook off. However; just one more week and this thing will be done. I wish you could all attend because I would love to share this with all of you.

In other disappearing news I am officially 20 lbs down since surgery. Yay Me! (in my best London Tipton impression). I am still on full liquids although I have bent the rules a bit and eat chili and a few other chunky soups I should have blended. Just one more week of full liquids. I get my second fill on Friday - which will entail being on full liquids for 2 days after that and then something I can actually chew. Strangely, I am craving salad the most which won't be on my soft foods list but I can't wait to have one.

In the past 2 weeks have had had loads of nsv's - which have meant even more to me than the pounds on the scale (amazing for a scale whore like myself; who will sometimes weigh as many as 3 times a day - pathetic, I know).

nsv 1. Lots of people have noticed and commented on my weight loss. I notice that my second chin has disappeared, and my neck is thinner and my tummy a little flatter.

nsv 2. I have gone down a clothing size - yeehaw! And I'm probably not far from going down another one. My shorts are hanging off of me in a very unflattering way but I really don't want to invest in summer clothes with the summer so close to and end - because they will be too big for me by next summer. I did have to purchase 2 pair of shorts to wear with my park foundation shirts for the cook-off next week-end but that is all I intend to spend.

nsv 3. this is by far the biggest nsv. A male co-worker that I have not worked with in the past 5 weeks told me how fantastic I looked. His comment was besides the weight loss your expression just looks lighter and you look years younger. Wow! that blew me away. He told me that I almost looked like I was in pain before I left to have my surgery. --- After considering that and thinking back - he was so true. I felt trapped because even though I had lost the weight I needed to to have the surgery I plateaued and I was feeling trapped in my fat body. I was also working through the whole quit smoking thing which was painful. (And I still crave a cigarette at least 2 times daily). Plus I hadn't had a vacation in a year and was in bad need of one. -- since returning to work I just feel happier, like their is hope in my life once again.

The only issue I continue to deal with is drowsiness on a daily basis - but I'm told that is still my body's response to recovering from surgery and that too shall pass. Wow what an amazing journey this is turning out to be - I'm excited. How about You?

CASUAL CONVERSATION

First I need to apologize to all my blogger buddies - don't feel neglected if I haven't made a comment recently - I am reading you - all of you - you are all a great motivation in my battle and to meet so many strong people is amazing. I, however, am just having a hard time keeping up with blogs at the moment because as well has having a full time job, I am on the board of directors for the Park Foundation in my Hicktown and this is the time of year for our fundraiser.

I am busier than a blow up doll at a Frat party. We have a huge BBQ Cook-off yearly and I'm trying to pull together enough judges to pull this thing off.

Lola said 198.4 yesterday - Yay me! I am down 15 pounds since surgery and 25 pound since Jan. And I have entered the all fabulous onederland. I know this is a monumental moment for many of you to reach. For me not so much - this is where the longest part of my journey begins. I have at least 70 pounds to go from here to reach a healthy weight.

I still haven't dragged my happy ass back to the gym yet. I need someone to make me. I really am having guilt over not being able to motivate myself to get up and go to the gym. Maybe after this whole BBQ thing is over I can get back into a routine.

Thank You followers - I'm up to 35 - Wow! I never thought I'd be there. Feel free to send me tips on a more interesting blog if you like. I certainly don't want to be boring you guys.

So, I'm busy, I'm losing and besides the guilt of not working out I feel very positive right now and am not regretting my decision to be banded. I know I am just riding the wave of a huge initial weight loss and that this will slow and even stall at times. But I think I am over the fear of being a failure at this because so many of you have been a brilliant success - I know it will work.

FILL 'ER UP

First post op visit today and I'm doing good. Incisions look great . currently I am 10 pounds down since surgery and 22 pounds down since starting this journey. And a whopping 25.1 inches lost. I am beside myself with joy. I got a 3 cc fill in my 10 cc band today All the fills at my Dr's office are done under fluoroscopy; so I got to see my port and my band. I will get my next fill in 4 weeks right before I start soft foods. Today I got the okay to eat anything that can fit through a straw. So I celebrated with a campfire blast from Sonic - I got about 4 ozs down before I was full, full full.

Basically I was told today that I would be getting fills every 4 weeks and it would take about 8 months to get it just perfect. I'm okay with that. The PA does all the fills and she told me she would like to see a solid 5 pound loss a month from me so I can't go too wild on the Sonic stuff.