PAIN, POOP, AND A GREAT BIG PITY PARTY

Last night I cried myself to sleep. I was in pain when I went to bed last night. Pain like immediately after surgery pain. This was very upsetting to me. I had a BTL laproscopically and was back at work as a floor nurse in 3 days - running up and down the halls, getting patients out of bed, etc. So why am I still having pain 6 days out. I want to be out running around doing fun stuff with me kids right now.

To add to my fun and excitement guess what else I've learned. When you only have liquids to eat guess what you poop - that's right. So now If I even feel like I might - dare I say it- FART! I have to run to the bathroom just in case it's something more

Which takes me to clear liquids - I don't think I can drink one more. I know I need to stay hydrated but the mere thought of one more glass of - crystal light, tea, broth or even jello is enough to make me want to vomit - literally.

I did have a minor NSV yesterday when I slipped on a pair of shorts that were a size smaller until I turned around and saw my badonkadonk in the mirror which was still a whopping 5 and 1/2 feet wide and that took all the joy I had away.

So now that you know why I cried myself to sleep last night - this is where I am today. I realized that tomorrow is my one week Bandiversary. And I chose to do this to myself. I made a conscious decision to want to improve my self and my health and I need to realize that all of this crap that has me down is part of the process and will not last forever.

As far as the pain - I didn't have a BTL this time I had a lap band - it's different Karen so of course you're going to heal different. Listen to your body, use common sense and get on with it.

The clear liquids still the bane of my existence. Hard, yes - Tiresome - Yes, but Also necessary. This is the course my surgeon believes causes the least amount of band slippage. This is what she feels I need to do for my abdomen to heal properly. I have spent a lot of time, money and effort to have the lap band done - so shouldn't I see this thing through properly.

I mean really I have learned and am still learning apparently just how strong an individual I am. I mean I quit smoking to have this surgery. A habit that I had (and may I add thoroughly enjoyed) for 30 years. It was hard. I didn't think I would make it through and I absolutely intended to start up as soon as my surgery was over. I was counting the days until I could enjoy a cigarette again. But guess what. I'm still a nonsmoker. I made it through and I don't miss it so much anymore. So sweet Mother of Gandolf - I can sure as sh*t get through one more week of &#$^ing liquids.

I was even kind of down on myself about this whole blogging thing and the minimal amount of followers that I have and what a boring blogger I am - But this blogging is not a popularity contest - This is a way for me to journal my experience - work through the rough patches like I did today and then if I help even one other person beside myself that's a bonus.

My Goal for July - Realize my self worth has nothing to do with the width of my ass.

With that off My Chest - I raise my goblet of crystal light raspberry tea and say CHEERS to making it one week.