D DAY AND THE BRA CONSPIRACY

I just finished with my surgeon visit. Nicotine screen negative. And amazingly my weight was exactly on target. AND I'M HAVING SURGERY TOMORROW!!!!!! Yay Me ! I have finally officially gotten excited about my surgery tomorrow. I have been smiling from ear to ear. So lap band in the a.m. and Dr. Reis plans on doing a hernia repair also. I am so happy right this minute. So You guys probably won't hear from me tomorrow but look for a word or two on Friday.

Now on to the important stuff - I own four Victoria Secret's bras. All of which were purchased on the same day. This weekend everyone that I put on had an under wire poking through the fabric within hours of me putting in on. There is nothing worse than that damn wire poking you under the arm. It feels like someone is poking you with a nail. The final bra decided to bite the dust on Monday while I was in a classes. I had to sit for 2 hours with that wire poking me. Finally when we got to a break I went into the bathroom and yanked the wire all the way out. I'm sure I was lopsided for the rest of the day but I was definitely more comfortable.

I am currently working at taking said bras apart at the seams and examining them with a magnifying glass. I am certain there is a microchip and a firing pin that caused them all to self destruct on a pre-set date. I swear it is a Victoria's Secret conspiracy - because they did not self destruct until after the semi annual bra sale had concluded.

I really wanted to purchase new bras during the sale but my friends convinced me that I was going to be losing weight so I should wait to invest in bras after I had shrunk a size or two. Now look at me I am officially left with one bra that is ancient. I'm afraid it will turn to dust when I put it on and the lovely one I am currently wearing that is all lace and frills; and has about as much support as a rubber band. So I guess I will be spending Friday doing something about the bra crisis ( not to be confused with the Cuban missile crisis - but close).

Cross your fingers for tomorrow as I cross the threshold into Bandster Hell.

THE LAST SUPPER

Surgery is 2 days from now, so I decided to have my last supper last night; as I did not think it would be a good idea to eat a really heavy meal the night before surgery.

Last Night's cuisine consisted of fried shrimp, fried scallops, salad, and a 5 layer chocolate cake.

Yum Yum Yum. It tasted so delicious. However, immediately after supper I was so sleepy. I did not have the energy to do anything. It has been so long since I have eaten that way. I have been eating healthier since I began my dietitian visits in January. I don't remember feeling that crappy when we used to eat that way. I barely had the energy to wash the dishes.

And this morning, I still feel sluggish. I think there is a cannonball sitting in my gut. It is breakfast time here at work and I have no desire to eat at all.

I was starting to regret having chose that for my last supper -but on further consideration I think it was just the ticket. I was already starting to mourn the loss of food I was was going to have post op and my old way of eating. But after last night's meal - I'm not mourning it so much. I truly am ready to move on from that hedonistic way of eating.

So farewell crappy eating habits, and unwanted pounds and poor self esteem. Your asses are out the door, your lease is up - cause the new me is moving in.

Here's to Former Fat Chick who is having her surgery this morning - I hope everything is going well for her.

I am also very excited to say that I bought a new scale to celebrate my upcoming surgery. Her name is Lola. I plan on us being the best of friends. Lola is replacing my old dinosaur of a scale (you know that old spring kind - that you can never get properly set on zero). I actually felt kind of guilty buying it - Why is this? Why do I tend to feel guilty when I do something for myself?

Anyway, you think it was a new ride at Disneyland - everyone in my household has been weighing themselves twice daily and comparing weights and how much they weigh with their boots on or their tool belt on. Yikes! You might be a redneck... Apparently we need to get out more.

I just wanted to add a welcome and a thanks to my followers. I finally reached the double digits.

I'VE GONE INTERNATIONAL

Wow! I've already gone International. Welcome Sparkler from the U.K. - send me a link to your blog if your writing one so I can follow you.

Thanks for the words of wisdom that you ladies gave me regarding my last blog - They were helpful at putting my mind at ease.

And Thanks for following.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAISM

Exactly 7 more days until surgery - Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited. And I can't really say that I am. I'm trying to decide why that is.

I think partly because it doesn't seem real yet. I still have my final physician visit prior to surgery and she can still deny my surgery on the basis of two things. 1. I didn't pass my nicotine drug test, in which case she will definitely cancel surgery. I don't think this will be a problem because I have not smoked. Butttt - I am around my husband and mother who both smoke and I don't know if this will affect the test at all. The nurse let me know at the time of pre-op testing that the doc would cancel my surgery if my urine test wasn't negative - She said this 3 times - Which makes me wonder what she knows that I don't. 2. I have gained 4 lbs from goal weight for surgery since I have quit smoking. and I'm sure in part because I've thrown in a few last suppers. But when I started this process; the patient advocate let me know if I did not meet my goal weight of 211; I would not have surgery. Will my surgeon actually cancel my surgery for this weight gain? I don't know. She was the nicest person when I met here in the seminar for weight loss surgery; however, the one time I had to see her in the office at the beginning of this process, she was a Be-otch!!!

So I guess until I get past the hurtle of my final Dr visit and know I have the full go ahead, it won't seem real to me. Unfortunately, that is not until the day before my scheduled surgery.

Now to the question of those gained 4 pounds - Do I diet like crazy hoping to get them off? My friends who have had WLS say don't worry about it, your getting ready to have the surgery. Enjoy your last days. They assure me that I have been qualified by insurance - so I should enjoy my last few days. They both had different surgeons though.

Another reason I think I am not excited about the surgery is that it is hard to see myself being successful at this given my long line of diet failures. I still have an underlying fear that this will end up being just another failed attempt at weight loss for me.

So will I get enthusiast about my surgery - I don't know - but I am ready!

TICKED OFF

I have tried many ticker sites and have been unsuccessful in loading a weight loss ticker onto my blog. I have been trying to add it as a gadget but whenever I copy the address into the site it tells me it has illegal characters in address . What am I doing wrong?

WHY DIDN'T I HAVE 10 MORE CHILDREN?

My children have become constant bickerers ( is that a word?). One of them could tell the other "You look nice in that shirt" and I swear it would spark an immediate argument from the other. I don't think they could possibly say two words to each other without it getting ugly. They are constantly insulting each other. By 10:00 in the morning I'm ready to knock their heads together.

It certainly is not helping my not smoking situation - and conversely my not smoking is not helping my patience.

I don't know whether my children nee therapy - I'm beginning to think I do - At least it would afford me a nice quiet environment for 1 hour.

On the absolute up side - I HAVE 4 FOLLOWERS! Thanks for joining in ladies. I welcome the support through my band journey and I have no doubt I will be seriously whiney during my 2 weeks of post op clear liquids. I purposely took off of work for that time so that my co-workers don't feel the need to kill me.

Only 9 days until surgery.

APRIL SHOWERS

Yesterday evening My son and my husband went fishing as part of my DHs father's day celebration. DD and I had just finished watching a movie; around 9:00 pm, when I heard a noise that sounded like the shower running. I asked DD "Do you hear water running/" she replied "Yea DS is in the shower" "No " I replied "He went fishing with dad"

DD proceeds to bathroom to prove me wrong

Next I hear a loud scream "MOM~!!!!!! Oh No Come Here" I enter my bedroom to a pipe spewing water from under bathroom sink. Water at this time is ankle deep and fast approaching bedroom. AHH!!! I tried to shut water off under sink but I was unable to turn the knob and the pipe, naturally, is spewing hot water. I have a slight burn on my knee where I knelt on floor to attempt water shut off.

I frantically call DH to ask where outside water shut for the house is - DD frantically calling my mother to come help us. So DH tells me the water shut off is under the house - WHAT!?! - so now I am outside sliding under the house - with the cell phone to my ear trying follow DH's instructions to water shut off (and of course the only working flashlight we have is with DH and DS).

I finally got water shut off - DH tells me they are on their way home.

DD and I spend next hour with my mom cleaning up water in bathroom and bedroom and throwing out all the water logged debris from under the bathroom sink - (including several hairstyling electronics -WAHH!!!)

SO DHs father's day fishing ruined after one hour of fishing and father's day spent fixing broken pipe alone since I had to work.

SORRY BABE - WE ALL LOVE YOU THOUGH.

DD, age 10, did make DH pancakes for breakfast this morning

I would have loved to have last night on tape - DD and I had to look like a 3 stooges film minus a stooge. ha ha ha

Countdown

Monday I had all my pre-op lab work done. Wow 2 hours for lab. I had to go to one place for my urine, blood and ekg and another place for blood gases and xrays. I have to tell ya I don't mind the blood work etc but the urine sample is always a nightmare. I am usually at that lab forever waiting to give a urine sample because I tend to get stage fright whenever they ask for a urine sample. So being the smart person that I am I decide on my hour long drive to the lab from my house I would chug 50 ounces of water - not to mention I drank 6 oz of juice with 2 tsps of sugar before I left the house because this cause a diuretic effect.

Well wouldn't you know when I got to the registration desk there were several people ahead of me and I am started to feel my very full bladder. Then when I finally reach the registration desk low and behold no-one can find my doctors orders so there is another 15 minute delay while they search before they can begin my registration - I am beginning to shift around in my chair every 2 minutes or so - with the clerk giving me the what's you're problem look. Finally I finish the registration process at which time I have to go to another office upstairs - when I get there the man at the desk gives me more paperwork to fill out - Yikes!! because by now I am doing the pee pee dance in front of his little glass window. I finally just said - "I know you need a urine sample and I would like to take care of that asap - so he let me go back and I am telling yall I could have given a urine sample for the next fifty people to come in. Hell I could have made a buck selling urine samples to people who needed drug screens.

After I finished up there I had to drive to the hospital where I am having my surgery for chest x-rays and blood gases. So now I just have 11 days until my pre-op visit with my doctor and 12 days until surgery I am very excited.

My doctor can still cancel my surgery if I don't pass my urine nicotine screen - so I am still a little worried. I shouldn't be - passing it shouldn't be an issue because I haven't smoke but I guess I am worried because it is the final obstacle to my surgery.

Summertime

Taking my daughter to camp today. This is usually a bittersweet time but my son has elected to skip camp this summer so I will still have one at home. Although the past 2 days have been constant kid fighting as my son says he " needs to get his annoying in before she leaves"

Summer is providing a new set of gym challenges for me as having the kids at home with more to do is making it hard to find time to get to the gym. My routine has been to drop them off at school and go straight to the gym.

This missing the gym thing has seen an increase of 3 pounds this week alone. I am trying to keep in perspective that I only have 2 weeks until surgery. I guess my history of yo yo dieting makes any increase on the scale panic time.

Tomorrow morning is my pre-op testing - lab ekg etc. - so one step closer to my new life - Yay me!

Summertime

Taking my daughter to camp today. This is usually a bittersweat time for me but my son did not want to go to camp this year so I will still have one at home.

Summer is providing dome new challenges for me - having the kids at home and having more to do is making getting to the gym or exercise time in general hard to come by. Up until now, I have been dropping the kids of at school and going straight to the gym. As a result my weight is back up 3 pounds which is disheartening but I only have 2 more weeks until surgery so I'm trying to to get too worried by it. I guess I've been in the yo yo dieting cycle so long that any gain is panic time.

Pre- op testing is tomorrow morning. Yay one more step closer to the prize.

NO SMOKING

The toughest part of the journey so far has been that I have had to stop smoking.  I have been a smoker for 30 years -( Yikes!).  I did wean myself down from the nicotine with an electronic cigarette but I can't say that made it any easier when I got to the no nicotine stage.  I've not smoked now for 5 weeks and I can tell you that it has not yet become any easier.  Every day I have to fight the urge to pick up a cigarette.  There are days I feel like I am going to have to resort to becoming a heroin addict to fight the pain of nicotine loss. - ha ha.

I wonder why alcoholics get a sponsor - someone to call when they have the urge to drink who can support them.  I quess it's just as well because my sponsor would have already had to change their phone number.

Oh well, one day at a time I quess.

Thoughtless

Wow! I have 2 followers and I have not even posted anything, - Scarey for me because I haven't even really decided whether ot not I am going to blog about my banding or not. Don't know if I will find the time. I'm having a time just keeping up reading all the wonderful blogs I'm already following and doubt very seriously I have the fabulous wit to be anywhere near as entertaining as most of you. In fact I can't even figure out how to get all those fabulous backgrounds you have on your blogs.

So a little about me - I am 47 years old, married with 2 beautiful children DS is 12 and DD is 10 (both of whom are now entering the wonderful world of pre-teen attitude). I live in a small town in Texas. With 3 dogs, a varying number of barn cats, 2 fish and a snake. I was a skinny girl up until I had my children in my mid to late thirties; and proceeded to just continue growing from there. I have had some success on diets but either quit them due to too much restriction or tire of all the constant monitoring, counting of points etc.. And then, true to form gain the weight back plus more. I still feel like a skinny girl inside until I wander by a mirror and don't recognize the girl looking back at me.

The lap band journey started for me because I have 3 friends who have all been banded and have been very successful. All of them have told me it is the best thing they have ever done. And so I began my lap band journey in January with all the prerequisites from my insurance. I am scheduled for surgery on July 1. I started this journey at 222lbs (I'm 5'4") and am currently down to 209. I named this blog THE LAND OF THE LOST because I am hoping this is the promised land where I finally shed these pounds forever and because being a newbie and both banding and blogging; I am totally lost - just kinda feeling my way.

Just a few miscellaneous things - I am an excellent speller but a failed typist. Thank God for spell check - Also I think much faster than I type resulting in fragment and lost parts of sentences - I apologize in advance.

Well hold on to your hats girls- let's take this puppy for a ride I guess and see how it handles.