I'M PRETTY SURE I'M THE NEW POSTER CHILD

No weight loss for 3 weeks. WTF! It is like someone has slammed the brakes on my weight loss train and my face is smashed against the dashboard. I have been losing the battle against head hunger but it is not crazy cheating so there should be at least an ounce or two. I'm back at the gym so I should be burning some calories there. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but I'm terrified of going back to the doc with 0 weight loss when they expect me to lose 5 pounds a month. I don't want to be the one and only lap band failure. Send Prayers please

THE ELUSIVE SWEET SPOT

Now that I am on solid foods the confusion has set in. What is the sweet spot? How do I find it? Is it next to the fountain of youth or closer to El Dorado? What is it I'm aiming for?

Over the past 2 weeks since I've been on solid foods - the weight loss has dramatically shut down. My band is slightly over half full and I have some restriction but is it enough restriction? My meals are definitely smaller than I used to eat, and my calorie intake is between 900 to 1200/day. I do feel full when I eat with a smaller amount of food but it only seems to last about 2 hours and then I am fighting to wait for the 3 to 4 hours for the next meal. Another huge battle I'm having is head hunger at night. Between 8:30 and 9:00 pm I start to get the snackies and I want something to munch on while I watch t.v. - so I know that is just a personal battle I will have to deal with; but what is my ultimate intake and fullness feeling that means I am at that sweet spot. I'm almost scared to get another fill because I am only 4cc's away from my band being full and then where do I go from there?

So any sage advice on where I should settle in at?

?

why did some of my words just not show up in my last blog - There we just gaps. Could you figure out what I was saying? because some of them were key words like heartburn.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

BBQ Cook-off finally over and school starting tomorrow so I should be back on track and keeping up with all my blogger buddies now. Also a great big welcome to my 2 new followers - send me a link to your blogs if you are blogging so I can follow you too.

So on the thirteenth I got another 3 ccs in my 10 cc realize band; which puts me at a little over halfway full. The problem is I felt more restriction when I just had the 3 ccs than I do now. I also finally got to start eating real food and once again I feel hungry like 1 1/2 hours after I eat. I'm not eating for at least 3 hours after I last ate but I feel like I'm starving for that 1 1/2 hours that I'm waiting. I'm trying to work through is it real hunger or head hunger?

Other things I'm working through are since I've started real food I haven't lost any pounds. I keep going back and forth between 189 and 192 - I'd really like to be solidly in the 180s. I'm trying hard to not let the scale depress me too much and just concentrate on working the band and following through with the things that I should be doing - eating slowly, chewing well, drinking plenty of water etc. I logically know that I'll hit little plateaus along the way but it is still a little disheartening.

My biggest issue at this time; and I hope I can get some advice from the experienced bandsters here, is that for the past 2 days I've had a constant burning like heartburn and constant belching. What is going on? Has my band already slipped? AAAGGHHH??? or do I just have a lot of gas? I did have salad the past 3 days-- maybe my body is not used to the roughage. I'm playing with idea of maybe I should go back to full liquids for a few days and see if things straighten out.

Let me just share with you that our BBQ Cook-off went extremely well. We had 110 BBQ teams compete. The judging tent that I co run with my fellow board member Sandra (the best person ever to work with) went extremely smoothly this year. I was so pleased. Don't know the total profit we made yet until all the math is done - probably by Sept. but I do know we made $45,000 on the auction alone and our beer sales were up this year. When our headline band started playing - we were selling 7 cases of beer ever 5 minutes. All in all I think we had a successful event this year (translated: we threw a hell of party). We did have one very disgruntled team this year - but they came in not happy with things (at which time they were offered a full refund of their entry fee if they wished to not participate due to their unhappiness) and we just couldn't seem to please them all weekend. We had 40 other teams on a wait list to participate --- so I don't think we'll be having that team back next year.

Sending much love and good band vibes out to all of you. Kisses

DISAPPEARING ACT

I apologize for my recent disappearance. I promise I have not abandoned you ladies who have become my friends, allies and support system. I have just totally had my hands full working on our annual BBQ Cook off. However; just one more week and this thing will be done. I wish you could all attend because I would love to share this with all of you.

In other disappearing news I am officially 20 lbs down since surgery. Yay Me! (in my best London Tipton impression). I am still on full liquids although I have bent the rules a bit and eat chili and a few other chunky soups I should have blended. Just one more week of full liquids. I get my second fill on Friday - which will entail being on full liquids for 2 days after that and then something I can actually chew. Strangely, I am craving salad the most which won't be on my soft foods list but I can't wait to have one.

In the past 2 weeks have had had loads of nsv's - which have meant even more to me than the pounds on the scale (amazing for a scale whore like myself; who will sometimes weigh as many as 3 times a day - pathetic, I know).

nsv 1. Lots of people have noticed and commented on my weight loss. I notice that my second chin has disappeared, and my neck is thinner and my tummy a little flatter.

nsv 2. I have gone down a clothing size - yeehaw! And I'm probably not far from going down another one. My shorts are hanging off of me in a very unflattering way but I really don't want to invest in summer clothes with the summer so close to and end - because they will be too big for me by next summer. I did have to purchase 2 pair of shorts to wear with my park foundation shirts for the cook-off next week-end but that is all I intend to spend.

nsv 3. this is by far the biggest nsv. A male co-worker that I have not worked with in the past 5 weeks told me how fantastic I looked. His comment was besides the weight loss your expression just looks lighter and you look years younger. Wow! that blew me away. He told me that I almost looked like I was in pain before I left to have my surgery. --- After considering that and thinking back - he was so true. I felt trapped because even though I had lost the weight I needed to to have the surgery I plateaued and I was feeling trapped in my fat body. I was also working through the whole quit smoking thing which was painful. (And I still crave a cigarette at least 2 times daily). Plus I hadn't had a vacation in a year and was in bad need of one. -- since returning to work I just feel happier, like their is hope in my life once again.

The only issue I continue to deal with is drowsiness on a daily basis - but I'm told that is still my body's response to recovering from surgery and that too shall pass. Wow what an amazing journey this is turning out to be - I'm excited. How about You?

CASUAL CONVERSATION

First I need to apologize to all my blogger buddies - don't feel neglected if I haven't made a comment recently - I am reading you - all of you - you are all a great motivation in my battle and to meet so many strong people is amazing. I, however, am just having a hard time keeping up with blogs at the moment because as well has having a full time job, I am on the board of directors for the Park Foundation in my Hicktown and this is the time of year for our fundraiser.

I am busier than a blow up doll at a Frat party. We have a huge BBQ Cook-off yearly and I'm trying to pull together enough judges to pull this thing off.

Lola said 198.4 yesterday - Yay me! I am down 15 pounds since surgery and 25 pound since Jan. And I have entered the all fabulous onederland. I know this is a monumental moment for many of you to reach. For me not so much - this is where the longest part of my journey begins. I have at least 70 pounds to go from here to reach a healthy weight.

I still haven't dragged my happy ass back to the gym yet. I need someone to make me. I really am having guilt over not being able to motivate myself to get up and go to the gym. Maybe after this whole BBQ thing is over I can get back into a routine.

Thank You followers - I'm up to 35 - Wow! I never thought I'd be there. Feel free to send me tips on a more interesting blog if you like. I certainly don't want to be boring you guys.

So, I'm busy, I'm losing and besides the guilt of not working out I feel very positive right now and am not regretting my decision to be banded. I know I am just riding the wave of a huge initial weight loss and that this will slow and even stall at times. But I think I am over the fear of being a failure at this because so many of you have been a brilliant success - I know it will work.

FILL 'ER UP

First post op visit today and I'm doing good. Incisions look great . currently I am 10 pounds down since surgery and 22 pounds down since starting this journey. And a whopping 25.1 inches lost. I am beside myself with joy. I got a 3 cc fill in my 10 cc band today All the fills at my Dr's office are done under fluoroscopy; so I got to see my port and my band. I will get my next fill in 4 weeks right before I start soft foods. Today I got the okay to eat anything that can fit through a straw. So I celebrated with a campfire blast from Sonic - I got about 4 ozs down before I was full, full full.

Basically I was told today that I would be getting fills every 4 weeks and it would take about 8 months to get it just perfect. I'm okay with that. The PA does all the fills and she told me she would like to see a solid 5 pound loss a month from me so I can't go too wild on the Sonic stuff.

ICE QUEEN

For the past 4 nights around 8:00 pm - I start to get cold - really cold - last night I slept in a thermal shirt, flannel pajamas and wool socks - What is wrong with the picture? I live in south Texas where it is currently hotter than a four-balled tom cat at midnight and I'm bundled up like It's January in Alaska.

I would like to blame this glitch in thermoregulation on my clear liquid diet and the lack of calories associated with it. Of course right now I'd like to blame everything from global warming to the war in Afghanistan on the clear liquid diet. But if there are any other suppositions out there as to why my internal thermometer is off please feel free to advise me.

Speaking of that damn diet again - I'm currently not doing well on that - because real hunger has finally set in - I mean real gut gnawing hunger. Yesterday I had a full protein drink and an entire can of cream of chicken soup - which I'm not supposed to get until next week. I'm trying to be good and stay on the clear liquids today but as I type this my stomach is beginning it's distress cry and I'm afraid I won't make it until dinner.

I haven't needed any pain meds for the past 2 days and am feeling much better on that front - I am very happy about this because I think those narcotics were making me very depressed. I definitely feel more myself now. and I actually had a real poop. So I am on the road to normalcy.

Yesterday I enjoyed a great day with my family - We went to see Eclipse and did some small shopping. And this morning I hauled my daughter an hour away to spend the weekend with a friend she made at camp this year. They have been E-mailing and phoning each other every day since they got back from camp - This morning when I dropped her off they were like 2 long lost sisters - hugging and screaming. Crazy girls. So I'll have to make that drive again tomorrow to pick her up.

Post op visit in 4 days. Yay!

LOLA SAYS

It is my one week Bandversary - and my very friendly scale Lola says ---- 204. Down 8 pounds from my surgery day. I have decided to make Thursday my official weigh in day since that was my surgery day.

I want to thank all of you for your very supportive comments. Thanks for keeping me going. I love you all.

Wouldn't you really just like to lick that cake right now - I know - me too.

PAIN, POOP, AND A GREAT BIG PITY PARTY

Last night I cried myself to sleep. I was in pain when I went to bed last night. Pain like immediately after surgery pain. This was very upsetting to me. I had a BTL laproscopically and was back at work as a floor nurse in 3 days - running up and down the halls, getting patients out of bed, etc. So why am I still having pain 6 days out. I want to be out running around doing fun stuff with me kids right now.

To add to my fun and excitement guess what else I've learned. When you only have liquids to eat guess what you poop - that's right. So now If I even feel like I might - dare I say it- FART! I have to run to the bathroom just in case it's something more

Which takes me to clear liquids - I don't think I can drink one more. I know I need to stay hydrated but the mere thought of one more glass of - crystal light, tea, broth or even jello is enough to make me want to vomit - literally.

I did have a minor NSV yesterday when I slipped on a pair of shorts that were a size smaller until I turned around and saw my badonkadonk in the mirror which was still a whopping 5 and 1/2 feet wide and that took all the joy I had away.

So now that you know why I cried myself to sleep last night - this is where I am today. I realized that tomorrow is my one week Bandiversary. And I chose to do this to myself. I made a conscious decision to want to improve my self and my health and I need to realize that all of this crap that has me down is part of the process and will not last forever.

As far as the pain - I didn't have a BTL this time I had a lap band - it's different Karen so of course you're going to heal different. Listen to your body, use common sense and get on with it.

The clear liquids still the bane of my existence. Hard, yes - Tiresome - Yes, but Also necessary. This is the course my surgeon believes causes the least amount of band slippage. This is what she feels I need to do for my abdomen to heal properly. I have spent a lot of time, money and effort to have the lap band done - so shouldn't I see this thing through properly.

I mean really I have learned and am still learning apparently just how strong an individual I am. I mean I quit smoking to have this surgery. A habit that I had (and may I add thoroughly enjoyed) for 30 years. It was hard. I didn't think I would make it through and I absolutely intended to start up as soon as my surgery was over. I was counting the days until I could enjoy a cigarette again. But guess what. I'm still a nonsmoker. I made it through and I don't miss it so much anymore. So sweet Mother of Gandolf - I can sure as sh*t get through one more week of &#$^ing liquids.

I was even kind of down on myself about this whole blogging thing and the minimal amount of followers that I have and what a boring blogger I am - But this blogging is not a popularity contest - This is a way for me to journal my experience - work through the rough patches like I did today and then if I help even one other person beside myself that's a bonus.

My Goal for July - Realize my self worth has nothing to do with the width of my ass.

With that off My Chest - I raise my goblet of crystal light raspberry tea and say CHEERS to making it one week.

BELCHING.

OMG I have been belching like a truck driver. I'm still on clear liquids (with 9 more days to go)
and every time I drink something I have this horrifying bellowing belch. I'm telling you I could pull into any redneck truck driver bar and belly up to the bar with the rest of those guys and win a belching contest. I certainly hope this ladylike behavior is only temporary.


On the pain front, I'm doing great I have one spot in my lower left abdomen that is about an inch in diameter that is a constant dull ache and occasionally I have a sharp pain right there for a moment and then it passes. Does anyone know what this is associated with?


I decided I was ready to venture out for a bit longer walk today so I walked to our mailbox which is about 1/4 mile from the house. Halfway to the mailbox I realize I did not bring the damn cell phone and what if I can't make it there and back. Then I have this image of myself in my head sitting on the side of the road waiting for someone to realize I haven't come back to the house (and waiting and waiting) but I did fine. I had to stop a few times to rest but I made it.

I totally miss going to the gym and hate even more that I am paying for it and am not there but I'm just not at that point yet. I am getting bored sitting around the house but every time I try to shower I get dizzy. I manage to get my body scrubbed but can't make it long enough for a good hair washing. I may just have to get my hairdresser to wash my hair tomorrow so that I feel presentable enough to get out and about for awhile.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

Just came in from a lovely post op walk. We have been having tons of rain from Hurricane Alex . This morning on our nation's birthday the sun is shining, there is a wonderful breeze blowing out the humidity and drying things off. The temperature is probably in the 80's - It is just a perfect morning. The air is perfumed with the scent of wood smoke from everyone starting up their barbecue pits this morning. There is absolutely nothing like meat cooked on a pit over wood smoke - charcoal and gas grills; although okay for a quick meal, just can't compare to a good old fashioned pit barbecue. We will celebrate today at my brother's house with brisket, potato salad, drinks , desserts, swimming and of course fireworks. (okay well I'll be sipping on crystal light and imaging the taste of brisket) Hope all of you have a wonderful fourth of July- I hope you spend the day appreciating your great family, your friends and all our nation has to offer us. And big hugs and kisses and well wishes of speedy recoveries for all my recently banded friends.

POTTY TRAINING

Yay me! Peeing like a big girl finally! I did a big no no and drank coffined coffee. Caffeine is a big absolute no with my Dr but I knew it would help me diurese and It did and now I'm peeing up a storm. The rain kept me from getting out and walking around as much as I wanted to today but I did keep moving around in the house.

I'm satisfied with the liquids right now as far as hunger goes but I am sorely missing the taste and texture of food. I sucked the salt off a pretzel today just to have something solid in my mouth. I obviously have some oral fixation that I've been satisfying with food and cigarettes for a while. I'm telling you I really enjoyed that few minute with the pretzel - What a sick puppy I am.

ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP...

I could literally copy and paste - A FORMER FAT CHICK'S blog here - our surgeries went very similarly.

We were up at 0300 to be at hospital at 0500 ( I live about an hour away from where I had surgery) We arrived at the hospital at specified time and since I was pre-registered; they pretty much just put an armband on me and took me back to the waiting room. We then waited there for an hour and a half wondering why we needed to be there so early. Once we were taken back we waited for another 30 minutes while the nurse who was supposed to prep me for surgery tried to find someone else to do it because she was behind. This turned out to be a blessing because this girl entered my cubicle twice and never smiled, said hello, or bothered to introduce herself or give an explanation for the delay. That's okay I got her name.

At 0700 - two nurse's came in to pick up the slack for the first and they we fabulous. Very personable, efficient and I appreciated them immensely ( Can you tell I'm a nurse? - Just a side note When I or anyone in my family are patients I never tell anyone I'm a nurse because technically in that situation I'm not - I'm a patient or a mother or whatever other assigned role I am for that day but I'm not in the nurse role The only reason to let the nurse know I'm a nurse would be to intimidate her and what purpose would that serve. I do however let the vet know I'm a nurse it speeds up the explanation. ha ha)

Next my doc comes in to say hi! Now I have to mention on the pre-op visit, she was very nice - didn't really engage in chit chat when I tried but much more pleasant than the last visit. Well today she had her game face on - she was in and out and not very pleasant. I've decide she is not a people person. Which is not a worry because I will be seeing the PA for fills from now on and she is great. Oh which I need to mention the doc did tell me at this time they needed to see me back in 2 weeks to evaluate my incisions and see if I am ready for a fill. What?!! I wasn't expecting to start fills until 6 weeks out.

Next up the OR - I know I went in there slid over to a table, was joking with the nurse and anesthesiologist and then I was waking up in pacu. I was banded - also had hiatal hernia repair. And I was hurting. It was a pain under my diaphragm. I got morphine 3 times before I felt better. and I was pretty much asleep the rest of the pacu experience.

On to the next recovery area - where I spent about an hour in a recliner before they let me go home. The nurse gave me a four ounce bottle of water to drink and I had no problems getting it down. I did have that pain under the diaphragm again and my nurse explained to be that was pain related to the co2 gas they put in to help them visualize better. He encouraged walking to get rid of that pain when I got home. He did give me some torredol in my iv to help with the pain and it lasted until I got home.

I slept most of the day. I just could not keep my eyes open for longer than 15 minutes. My biggest problems are I am only peeing little amounts at a time which tells me That my bladder is probably over distended and I'm only peeing off the excesses. I hoping that It will improve as I don't want to go to the er to have a catheter put in. and secondly I want to eat. A piece of toast sounds lovely to me. So I have to keep reminding myself I am only on clear liquids. And I can drink them without any problem at all. If I drink a large amount of fluid, I have noticed that shortly thereafter I will belch and then I can feel the liquid trickle down my stoma.

I am a little more sore today than yesterday day but will be taking my pain medication on a schedule today and will go back to prn basis tomorrow. (Here is the nurse's tip for those of you who have not had your surgery yet. Take your pain medication - There are no medals given out to post op heroes. It takes a great amount of energy for your body to deal with pain - energy that you need for the healing process so you don't want your body wasting that energy on pain control. Secondly, people who do not keep their pain under control have higher rates of post op infection - I'm stepping down from my soapbox now).

Probably the biggest problem I had yesterday was the dogs wanting to mob me - my sweet babies.

I have my key to the clubhouse now and I'm officially a band member

D DAY AND THE BRA CONSPIRACY

I just finished with my surgeon visit. Nicotine screen negative. And amazingly my weight was exactly on target. AND I'M HAVING SURGERY TOMORROW!!!!!! Yay Me ! I have finally officially gotten excited about my surgery tomorrow. I have been smiling from ear to ear. So lap band in the a.m. and Dr. Reis plans on doing a hernia repair also. I am so happy right this minute. So You guys probably won't hear from me tomorrow but look for a word or two on Friday.

Now on to the important stuff - I own four Victoria Secret's bras. All of which were purchased on the same day. This weekend everyone that I put on had an under wire poking through the fabric within hours of me putting in on. There is nothing worse than that damn wire poking you under the arm. It feels like someone is poking you with a nail. The final bra decided to bite the dust on Monday while I was in a classes. I had to sit for 2 hours with that wire poking me. Finally when we got to a break I went into the bathroom and yanked the wire all the way out. I'm sure I was lopsided for the rest of the day but I was definitely more comfortable.

I am currently working at taking said bras apart at the seams and examining them with a magnifying glass. I am certain there is a microchip and a firing pin that caused them all to self destruct on a pre-set date. I swear it is a Victoria's Secret conspiracy - because they did not self destruct until after the semi annual bra sale had concluded.

I really wanted to purchase new bras during the sale but my friends convinced me that I was going to be losing weight so I should wait to invest in bras after I had shrunk a size or two. Now look at me I am officially left with one bra that is ancient. I'm afraid it will turn to dust when I put it on and the lovely one I am currently wearing that is all lace and frills; and has about as much support as a rubber band. So I guess I will be spending Friday doing something about the bra crisis ( not to be confused with the Cuban missile crisis - but close).

Cross your fingers for tomorrow as I cross the threshold into Bandster Hell.

THE LAST SUPPER

Surgery is 2 days from now, so I decided to have my last supper last night; as I did not think it would be a good idea to eat a really heavy meal the night before surgery.

Last Night's cuisine consisted of fried shrimp, fried scallops, salad, and a 5 layer chocolate cake.

Yum Yum Yum. It tasted so delicious. However, immediately after supper I was so sleepy. I did not have the energy to do anything. It has been so long since I have eaten that way. I have been eating healthier since I began my dietitian visits in January. I don't remember feeling that crappy when we used to eat that way. I barely had the energy to wash the dishes.

And this morning, I still feel sluggish. I think there is a cannonball sitting in my gut. It is breakfast time here at work and I have no desire to eat at all.

I was starting to regret having chose that for my last supper -but on further consideration I think it was just the ticket. I was already starting to mourn the loss of food I was was going to have post op and my old way of eating. But after last night's meal - I'm not mourning it so much. I truly am ready to move on from that hedonistic way of eating.

So farewell crappy eating habits, and unwanted pounds and poor self esteem. Your asses are out the door, your lease is up - cause the new me is moving in.

Here's to Former Fat Chick who is having her surgery this morning - I hope everything is going well for her.

I am also very excited to say that I bought a new scale to celebrate my upcoming surgery. Her name is Lola. I plan on us being the best of friends. Lola is replacing my old dinosaur of a scale (you know that old spring kind - that you can never get properly set on zero). I actually felt kind of guilty buying it - Why is this? Why do I tend to feel guilty when I do something for myself?

Anyway, you think it was a new ride at Disneyland - everyone in my household has been weighing themselves twice daily and comparing weights and how much they weigh with their boots on or their tool belt on. Yikes! You might be a redneck... Apparently we need to get out more.

I just wanted to add a welcome and a thanks to my followers. I finally reached the double digits.

I'VE GONE INTERNATIONAL

Wow! I've already gone International. Welcome Sparkler from the U.K. - send me a link to your blog if your writing one so I can follow you.

Thanks for the words of wisdom that you ladies gave me regarding my last blog - They were helpful at putting my mind at ease.

And Thanks for following.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAISM

Exactly 7 more days until surgery - Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited. And I can't really say that I am. I'm trying to decide why that is.

I think partly because it doesn't seem real yet. I still have my final physician visit prior to surgery and she can still deny my surgery on the basis of two things. 1. I didn't pass my nicotine drug test, in which case she will definitely cancel surgery. I don't think this will be a problem because I have not smoked. Butttt - I am around my husband and mother who both smoke and I don't know if this will affect the test at all. The nurse let me know at the time of pre-op testing that the doc would cancel my surgery if my urine test wasn't negative - She said this 3 times - Which makes me wonder what she knows that I don't. 2. I have gained 4 lbs from goal weight for surgery since I have quit smoking. and I'm sure in part because I've thrown in a few last suppers. But when I started this process; the patient advocate let me know if I did not meet my goal weight of 211; I would not have surgery. Will my surgeon actually cancel my surgery for this weight gain? I don't know. She was the nicest person when I met here in the seminar for weight loss surgery; however, the one time I had to see her in the office at the beginning of this process, she was a Be-otch!!!

So I guess until I get past the hurtle of my final Dr visit and know I have the full go ahead, it won't seem real to me. Unfortunately, that is not until the day before my scheduled surgery.

Now to the question of those gained 4 pounds - Do I diet like crazy hoping to get them off? My friends who have had WLS say don't worry about it, your getting ready to have the surgery. Enjoy your last days. They assure me that I have been qualified by insurance - so I should enjoy my last few days. They both had different surgeons though.

Another reason I think I am not excited about the surgery is that it is hard to see myself being successful at this given my long line of diet failures. I still have an underlying fear that this will end up being just another failed attempt at weight loss for me.

So will I get enthusiast about my surgery - I don't know - but I am ready!

TICKED OFF

I have tried many ticker sites and have been unsuccessful in loading a weight loss ticker onto my blog. I have been trying to add it as a gadget but whenever I copy the address into the site it tells me it has illegal characters in address . What am I doing wrong?

WHY DIDN'T I HAVE 10 MORE CHILDREN?

My children have become constant bickerers ( is that a word?). One of them could tell the other "You look nice in that shirt" and I swear it would spark an immediate argument from the other. I don't think they could possibly say two words to each other without it getting ugly. They are constantly insulting each other. By 10:00 in the morning I'm ready to knock their heads together.

It certainly is not helping my not smoking situation - and conversely my not smoking is not helping my patience.

I don't know whether my children nee therapy - I'm beginning to think I do - At least it would afford me a nice quiet environment for 1 hour.

On the absolute up side - I HAVE 4 FOLLOWERS! Thanks for joining in ladies. I welcome the support through my band journey and I have no doubt I will be seriously whiney during my 2 weeks of post op clear liquids. I purposely took off of work for that time so that my co-workers don't feel the need to kill me.

Only 9 days until surgery.

APRIL SHOWERS

Yesterday evening My son and my husband went fishing as part of my DHs father's day celebration. DD and I had just finished watching a movie; around 9:00 pm, when I heard a noise that sounded like the shower running. I asked DD "Do you hear water running/" she replied "Yea DS is in the shower" "No " I replied "He went fishing with dad"

DD proceeds to bathroom to prove me wrong

Next I hear a loud scream "MOM~!!!!!! Oh No Come Here" I enter my bedroom to a pipe spewing water from under bathroom sink. Water at this time is ankle deep and fast approaching bedroom. AHH!!! I tried to shut water off under sink but I was unable to turn the knob and the pipe, naturally, is spewing hot water. I have a slight burn on my knee where I knelt on floor to attempt water shut off.

I frantically call DH to ask where outside water shut for the house is - DD frantically calling my mother to come help us. So DH tells me the water shut off is under the house - WHAT!?! - so now I am outside sliding under the house - with the cell phone to my ear trying follow DH's instructions to water shut off (and of course the only working flashlight we have is with DH and DS).

I finally got water shut off - DH tells me they are on their way home.

DD and I spend next hour with my mom cleaning up water in bathroom and bedroom and throwing out all the water logged debris from under the bathroom sink - (including several hairstyling electronics -WAHH!!!)

SO DHs father's day fishing ruined after one hour of fishing and father's day spent fixing broken pipe alone since I had to work.

SORRY BABE - WE ALL LOVE YOU THOUGH.

DD, age 10, did make DH pancakes for breakfast this morning

I would have loved to have last night on tape - DD and I had to look like a 3 stooges film minus a stooge. ha ha ha

Countdown

Monday I had all my pre-op lab work done. Wow 2 hours for lab. I had to go to one place for my urine, blood and ekg and another place for blood gases and xrays. I have to tell ya I don't mind the blood work etc but the urine sample is always a nightmare. I am usually at that lab forever waiting to give a urine sample because I tend to get stage fright whenever they ask for a urine sample. So being the smart person that I am I decide on my hour long drive to the lab from my house I would chug 50 ounces of water - not to mention I drank 6 oz of juice with 2 tsps of sugar before I left the house because this cause a diuretic effect.

Well wouldn't you know when I got to the registration desk there were several people ahead of me and I am started to feel my very full bladder. Then when I finally reach the registration desk low and behold no-one can find my doctors orders so there is another 15 minute delay while they search before they can begin my registration - I am beginning to shift around in my chair every 2 minutes or so - with the clerk giving me the what's you're problem look. Finally I finish the registration process at which time I have to go to another office upstairs - when I get there the man at the desk gives me more paperwork to fill out - Yikes!! because by now I am doing the pee pee dance in front of his little glass window. I finally just said - "I know you need a urine sample and I would like to take care of that asap - so he let me go back and I am telling yall I could have given a urine sample for the next fifty people to come in. Hell I could have made a buck selling urine samples to people who needed drug screens.

After I finished up there I had to drive to the hospital where I am having my surgery for chest x-rays and blood gases. So now I just have 11 days until my pre-op visit with my doctor and 12 days until surgery I am very excited.

My doctor can still cancel my surgery if I don't pass my urine nicotine screen - so I am still a little worried. I shouldn't be - passing it shouldn't be an issue because I haven't smoke but I guess I am worried because it is the final obstacle to my surgery.

Summertime

Taking my daughter to camp today. This is usually a bittersweet time but my son has elected to skip camp this summer so I will still have one at home. Although the past 2 days have been constant kid fighting as my son says he " needs to get his annoying in before she leaves"

Summer is providing a new set of gym challenges for me as having the kids at home with more to do is making it hard to find time to get to the gym. My routine has been to drop them off at school and go straight to the gym.

This missing the gym thing has seen an increase of 3 pounds this week alone. I am trying to keep in perspective that I only have 2 weeks until surgery. I guess my history of yo yo dieting makes any increase on the scale panic time.

Tomorrow morning is my pre-op testing - lab ekg etc. - so one step closer to my new life - Yay me!

Summertime

Taking my daughter to camp today. This is usually a bittersweat time for me but my son did not want to go to camp this year so I will still have one at home.

Summer is providing dome new challenges for me - having the kids at home and having more to do is making getting to the gym or exercise time in general hard to come by. Up until now, I have been dropping the kids of at school and going straight to the gym. As a result my weight is back up 3 pounds which is disheartening but I only have 2 more weeks until surgery so I'm trying to to get too worried by it. I guess I've been in the yo yo dieting cycle so long that any gain is panic time.

Pre- op testing is tomorrow morning. Yay one more step closer to the prize.

NO SMOKING

The toughest part of the journey so far has been that I have had to stop smoking.  I have been a smoker for 30 years -( Yikes!).  I did wean myself down from the nicotine with an electronic cigarette but I can't say that made it any easier when I got to the no nicotine stage.  I've not smoked now for 5 weeks and I can tell you that it has not yet become any easier.  Every day I have to fight the urge to pick up a cigarette.  There are days I feel like I am going to have to resort to becoming a heroin addict to fight the pain of nicotine loss. - ha ha.

I wonder why alcoholics get a sponsor - someone to call when they have the urge to drink who can support them.  I quess it's just as well because my sponsor would have already had to change their phone number.

Oh well, one day at a time I quess.

Thoughtless

Wow! I have 2 followers and I have not even posted anything, - Scarey for me because I haven't even really decided whether ot not I am going to blog about my banding or not. Don't know if I will find the time. I'm having a time just keeping up reading all the wonderful blogs I'm already following and doubt very seriously I have the fabulous wit to be anywhere near as entertaining as most of you. In fact I can't even figure out how to get all those fabulous backgrounds you have on your blogs.

So a little about me - I am 47 years old, married with 2 beautiful children DS is 12 and DD is 10 (both of whom are now entering the wonderful world of pre-teen attitude). I live in a small town in Texas. With 3 dogs, a varying number of barn cats, 2 fish and a snake. I was a skinny girl up until I had my children in my mid to late thirties; and proceeded to just continue growing from there. I have had some success on diets but either quit them due to too much restriction or tire of all the constant monitoring, counting of points etc.. And then, true to form gain the weight back plus more. I still feel like a skinny girl inside until I wander by a mirror and don't recognize the girl looking back at me.

The lap band journey started for me because I have 3 friends who have all been banded and have been very successful. All of them have told me it is the best thing they have ever done. And so I began my lap band journey in January with all the prerequisites from my insurance. I am scheduled for surgery on July 1. I started this journey at 222lbs (I'm 5'4") and am currently down to 209. I named this blog THE LAND OF THE LOST because I am hoping this is the promised land where I finally shed these pounds forever and because being a newbie and both banding and blogging; I am totally lost - just kinda feeling my way.

Just a few miscellaneous things - I am an excellent speller but a failed typist. Thank God for spell check - Also I think much faster than I type resulting in fragment and lost parts of sentences - I apologize in advance.

Well hold on to your hats girls- let's take this puppy for a ride I guess and see how it handles.